Dr. Sue Johnson’s article originally written for Psychology Today which explains what Emotional Focused Therapy is.

Are you wanting to change the way things are going in your home? Secretly fear that perhaps your kids have been running wild all summer? Worried that the transition back into school (in whatever form you choose) will be rough? Here are some things to think about as you make changes to routines and responsibilities in the house.

You know that feeling? That feeling at the end of the day. Probably a long day where you had to say, “Hurry up!” and “Let’s go!” and repeat simple commands over and over again until you finally had to say it a ‘mean’ voice that made your little one cry and then they still weren’t actually doing what you asked them to do because now they need a hug because you yelled. After that. After you wrangled them into pajamas and read the same story you’ve been reading for months that you secretly edit a bit to make a little shorter or a little less scary? After you heard about their favorite part of the day. Or tried to follow the threads of a story they’re telling you. After you stumbled your way through a question about the universe that is just too big for bedtime. After that. When you’re humming a scrap of song because you just don’t have any words left.

So why would you talk to a white therapist about becoming anti-racist? Because part of becoming anti-racist, one step along the path to actively working towards dismantling the oppression of Black people and others, is to examine your own emotions, thoughts, and experiences that prevent you from doing so. And it is not the work of Black people to carry the emotional labor of helping you do this. We can start where you are. And then help you take real, tangible action towards creating a better home life and a better world.

Marriage and family therapists are defined by an enduring dedication to professional and ethical excellence, as well as the commitment to service, advocacy, and public participation. The areas of service, advocacy, and public participation are recognized as responsibilities to the profession equal in importance to all other aspects.

Marriage and Family therapists study relationships.

We view couples and families as a system of interconnecting people. Like the gears in the picture above, each person in a relationship affects the others. Once we start turning in one direction it can be very hard to make a change when all the other gears are still moving in the same direction. This is true for couple and families. Often even when one person makes a positive change, it can affect the whole system in a way that make take some adjustments.

Here we go again.. Sometimes relationships benefit from a break. Sometimes after couples split up they realize they don’t want to be apart. But after the hearts-and-flowers phase of reunification fades, couples are often left with the same patterns and problems that lead them to break up in the first place. Does this mean it’s time for another separation?

Can you be too connected? Have you ever wondered, in the midst of your relationship, if you are too dependent on your partner? What if your loved one makes you happier when they are around? What if you miss them when they are gone? What if they are the first person you seek with both good and bad news? Is this healthy?

Does it seem like you and your partner have the same fight over and over again? Socks on the floor, spending habits, where you’ll celebrate Thanksgiving this year… these fights tend to repeat themselves…. Choose a partner based on the kind of arguments you’re willing to have for a long, long time.