Why talk to a white therapist about anti-racism?
And what is anti-racism work?
So why would you talk to a white therapist about becoming anti-racist? Because part of becoming anti-racist, one step along the path to actively working towards dismantling the oppression of Black people and others, is to examine your own emotions, thoughts, and experiences that prevent you from doing so. And it is not the work of Black people to carry the emotional labor of helping you do this.
Some caveats. I am white. I grew up in a white-majority suburb and attended a white majority college and grad school. I do not claim to be entirely free from racism myself. However, I am actively engaged in this work. I am actively learning from Black people and others from oppressed populations. And I have been doing so for years.
While I am still learning, I have gone various stages of color blindness and white fragility. I still make mistakes and practice learning from them. I am willing to be someone you can ask questions of and examine your uncomfortable emotions with. I am willing to sit in the discomfort with you, challenge you, and guide you to good information.
Also, I am raising a Black daughter and I have a responsibility to make the world safer for her and other like her. I want to help your raise kids who also contribute to and live in a truly free, safe society.
Here are some of the questions and thoughts I have discussed with others who are beginning to think anti-racism:
If we teach kids about race or color are we creating prejudice?
Can‘t we just tell kids that everyone can do or be anything they want no matter what race they are?
How can I create diversity in my neighborhood/school/life if there are no people of color around?
My kids are friends with many adopted kids who are Black? Isn’t that enough?
I’m open to being friends with anyone, I just don’t know anyone who is Black. Is that a problem?
Racism is big and scary. I want to keep my kids innocent and just let them be kids.
I’m overwhelmed, I don’t know what to do to help.
I don’t even know where to start.
Looking at social media is too much right now. I just need to turn it off.
Are you calling me a racist?
Do I need to make sure there are Black people involved in everything I do or create now?
What about reverse racism? Are we as white people being discriminated against? I feel really upset by all of this.
I’m doing the reading that ‘everyone’ is recommending and I feel terrible: guilty, ashamed, frozen, unsure of what to do next.
If you have any similar questions or thoughts and are looking for a safe place to learn more, come on in. We can start where you are. And then help you take real, tangible action towards creating a better home life and a better world.
